Twenty-Two Years Along the Way
By +Brian Ernest Brown, CWC
Twenty-two years ago, October 16, 2004, I knelt before Bishop Lawrence Michael Cameron in Toledo, Ohio, where I was ordained to the Sacred Order of Deacons and received the abbatial blessing as a mitred abbot, entrusted with the pastoral care and spiritual leadership of our religious community. It was one of those moments in life when you know something important is happening, even if you haven’t the faintest idea where the road ahead will lead.
Looking back over these twenty-two years, I find myself reflecting less on the ceremonies, vestments, and titles and more on the journey itself. There have been wonderful moments of grace, friendships that have enriched my life beyond measure, and opportunities to serve Christ and His Church that I could never have imagined. There have also been disappointments, difficult decisions, mistakes, and more than a few occasions when I’ve wondered whether I was really up to the task. I suppose that’s the nature of a vocation. God doesn’t call us because we’ve got everything figured out. He calls us to walk in faith, to grow in love, and to learn along the way.
I’ve often said that although I’ve since been ordained a priest and consecrated a bishop, it is my vocation as an abbot that has remained closest to my heart. An abbot is, first and foremost, a spiritual father, a companion on the journey, and a servant of the community entrusted to his care. The mitre may be a symbol of ecclesiastical responsibility, but it doesn’t make a shepherd. That requires patience, compassion, humility, and a willingness to love people through the joys and sorrows of life and believe me, I’m still learning.
I’ve also come to appreciate the significance of having begun this journey as a deacon. The diaconate is a ministry of service, and that calling doesn’t disappear with subsequent ordinations. If anything, it ought to become more deeply rooted in everything we do. Whatever titles we may carry, whatever responsibilities we may be given, we’re still called to follow the One who knelt to wash His disciples’ feet.
Twenty-two years have brought a great many changes. Communities have grown and changed, some doors have closed while others have opened, and I’ve learned that the Church, like the people who make it up, is always a work in progress. So am I. Perhaps one of the greatest gifts of these years has been learning that faithfulness isn’t the same thing as perfection, and that sometimes the most important ministry we offer is simply being present, listening, encouraging, forgiving, and loving one another.
I’m grateful to Bishop Larry for the trust he placed in me all those years ago, for those who have shared this journey, and for the grace of God that has sustained me through it all.
Twenty-two years later, I find myself looking at ministry a little differently than I did back then. I have less interest in building institutions or accumulating responsibilities and a much greater appreciation for the quieter work of loving God and neighbor. I’m increasingly convinced that the measure of a vocation isn’t how much we’ve accomplished, how many people we’ve led, or how many titles we’ve collected, but how faithfully we’ve loved those whom God has placed along our path.
Twenty-two years ago, I knelt to receive a blessing and a responsibility. Today, I remain a pilgrim, still learning what it means to be a servant, a shepherd, and a brother.
And by God’s grace, I hope I always will be.
Pax et Amor!
+Brian Ernest Brown, CWC