A Memorial for Knussa
By +Brian Ernest Brown, CWC
I want to tell you the story of Knussa, my sweet, sweet girl, the doggy love of my life.
Knussa first came into our family through my wife, Elena. Years ago, Elena saw this tiny Chihuahua/Corgi mix in a little pink shirt and a doggy collar and simply couldn’t resist. Something about her smallness, her sweetness, her unmistakable charm… Elena felt compelled to bring her home. And so Knussa’s story as a rescued, cherished companion began.
For most of her life, Knussa shared her days with Elena’s dear friend Bob. The two of them were inseparable. Bob drove a little white truck, and Knussa rode on his lap or right beside him everywhere he went as if it were her very own chariot. They had their rituals: fetch in the local park, joy-filled rides, and special treats, a plain McDonald’s meat patty and an ice cream cone just for her. They spent nearly eleven years together in that beautiful rhythm of companionship and devotion.
When Bob died, Knussa was heartbroken. Truly and deeply. She had lost her person, her daily world, her sense of place. So we brought her home to start a new chapter with us.
We already had three cats, Gretel, Griffin, and Gigi, whom I had rescued almost eleven years earlier. And, as you might imagine, there was an adjustment period. The cats weren’t quite sure what to make of this new little creature, and Knussa wasn’t entirely sure about them either. But in time, and on their own terms, they figured it out. A quiet household equilibrium settled in.
Before Bob passed away, Knussa had been diagnosed with a heart murmur, so we knew we had to watch her health closely. But that first year and a half with us was almost symptom-free and it was full of life, joy, and adventure. She rode proudly in my van in her own lambswool seat, happy as could be. Going on rides was always on of her absolute favorite things in the world.
We walked almost every morning though the neighborhood. She sniffed every blade of grass, every trail of scent, and left little doggy messages for the neighborhood creatures in the form of pee. Sometimes, if she saw a dog fenced in its yard, she would stare right at him… and poop in front of him just to show him who ran things around here. She was the boss. And while we, responsible humans, dutifully picked up the poop, Knussa surely wondered why in the world we were collecting her trophies.
Coming home from work meant a celebration. She’d run out to greet me with her spirited “woo, woo, woo, woo!” tail wagging with such enthusiasm she occasionally knocked herself over. And then came the kisses. So many doggy kisses right on my nose, her little tail wagging back and forth in ecstatic joy.
At night, she loved nothing more than belly rubs. I would rub her belly for what felt like hours while she drifted into sleep, snoring softly, utterly content. And then there was her favorite toy, the blue and yellow studded squeaky ball. She chased it with a spark in her eyes that never dimmed, even as her body began to fail her.
Over time, my love for this tiny dog grew into something deeper, something sacred. She loved with a purity that asked for nothing and gave everything. No guile. No conditions. Just a quiet, steadfast presence that became a balm to my own heart.
Ultimately, her heart condition progressed. Congestive heart failure, an enlarged heart, that caused a collapsing trachea made each breath laborious. She fought so hard. She tried for as long as she could. She was a tough little dog but eventually, moving made breathing harder and at moments, impossible for her. And she would look at us with those pleading eyes, eyes that seemed to say, “I’m tired. I’m scared. Please help me.”
We did the most painful, heartbreaking, loving thing we could: we let her go.
Almost exactly one year after her diagnosis, just as the veterinarians predicted, we helped her transition out of fear and pain into peace. It was one of the hardest moments of my life. A wound I still carry. I miss her every moment of every day and I suffer from an irrational and engulfing guilt because we/I couldn’t “fix” her.
Knussa was, and is, the great doggy love of my life.
And now we commend her into the mercy of God.
A Prayer for Knussa
O God of compassion,
Author of all life and Lover of every creature,
we gather today with grateful and grieving hearts
to commend Knussa into your eternal care.
We thank You for the gift she was to this world,
for her small, brave heart,
for the joy she carried in her eyes,
for the delight she took in simple things,
and for the love she so freely offered.
You fashioned her with gentleness and purpose,
and in Your mercy You allowed her path and ours to meet.
We remember today the years she spent as a faithful companion,
the comfort she brought in quiet moments,
the laughter she inspired,
and the warmth she brought into a home that welcomed her
after she herself had known loss.
In loving her, we came to know something deeper
of Your own tenderness toward all creation.
Lord Jesus,
who spoke of the Father’s care for sparrows
and welcomed the smallest of Your creatures,
receive Knussa into the peace beyond pain,
into the meadow where suffering is no more,
into the joy where every breath is easy
and every moment is light.
Bless all, who loved her with devotion and mercy.
Heal the ache that her absence has left.
Fill the empty spaces with gratitude,
and let memory become a gentle companion
rather than a wound.
Holy Spirit, Comforter of the brokenhearted,
wrap Your presence around us this morning.
Let our tears be prayers.
Let our grief be holy.
And let our love,
the same love Knussa knew in this life,
be carried forward in how we cherish all Your creatures.
Into Your eternal arms, O God,
we commend Knussa, beloved of our hearts.
Grant her rest.
Grant her peace.
Grant us the hope that love never ends.
Amen.
Final Blessing
May the God who called all creation “good”
hold Knussa gently in the life that has no ending.
May Christ, the Shepherd of every living creature,
lead her beside quiet waters where breath comes easy
and joy runs free.
And may the Holy Spirit,
who comforts all who mourn,
surround us with peace today
and guide our hearts toward healing.
Go in love, little one.
Go in light.
Go in the blessing of God
who made you, cherished you,
and now receives you home.
We love you so much!
Amen.